Monday, July 28, 2014
Headline: Man Approaches Feminist Woman, Feminist Woman Cuts Man's Balls Off With Knife!
I've never read a headline like that in the newspaper? Have you? I will admit to something. I'm a media junkie. I watch Youtube all the time, and the more provocative, especially when it comes to subjects like a lot of those discussed in this blog, the more I watch. I get caught up in these online battles. Feminists vs "Men's Rights Activists", Pickup Artists Vs Men's Right Activists, Radical Feminists vs PUA's and MRA's and MGTOW. Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW), PUA, MRA, RADFEM, TOO MANY FUCKING ACRONYMS AND CLASSIFICATIONS! It get's one in a dizzying tizzy of perpetual confusion having to claw your way through all the bullshit. If one follows these debates and battles of these different ideologies and of ideologues, and takes them to represent the real world at all times, one could easily come to the conclusion given in the title of this post that an actual event like this can happen. That if a guy goes out there and tries to hit on a girl (in a non threatening and non harrassing type way) that not only will she slap you, but she'll castrate you for being some type of chauvinist pig. But this isn't tumblr or youtube or these weird online debates, this is the real world we're talking about. Infamous Feminist Andrea Dworkin won't come back from the grave and yell at you for hitting on a woman at a bar. You won't get "called out" for doing something as harmless as talking to a woman you're interested in. Sure if you follow these debates, and take them to heart, in that reality or world one can come to the paranoid conclusion that this type of stuff will happen. But it likely won't happen at some bar where guys and girls come to mingle. It may not even happen if you hit on some of these ideologues themselves. There's a lot of talk about what defines "street harrassment" or even "affirmative consent" nowadays, but as guys who are just trying to get more dates we needn't concern ourselves with these debates. They do nothing but muddy the waters of what we're trying to do. The biggest problem is that sometimes things such as the aforementioned concepts are not articulated enough in the right way by the people debating them, so a person will be lead to a conclusion that ANY hitting on a woman on the street is harrassment, or that you need a written contract to even hold hands with a girl. These are the logical conclusions that some people have within these debates, but what do they matter in the real world right now? I write this post because this was an actual concern of mine for awhile, since I get caught up in reading a lot of controversial debates on the internet (and have a fascination for them). I had to take a break from dating for various reasons and since I'm coming back to the fold, following some of these huge debates has been kind of detrimental. A lot of the time, also, people are huge hypocrites anyway. Some of the biggest online feminists do nudie calendars, or take the famous case of Kathleen Hanna, lead singer of one of the biggest "Riot GRRL" bands of all time, Bikini Kill, who married a guy from the Beastie Boys, a band who used to feature go-go dancers and very "sexist" lyrics. I'm sure from the other end, there are "MRA's" (just using a stereotype some people have about MRAs) who are total submissives in bed, the list goes on. Just because a person takes an ideological position doesn't mean they're totally consistent when it comes to the rest of their lives. So fuck it, the more you pay attention to something the more it matters. When I didn't know about all that stuff, I seemed to do better, so I would say as a point of advice, don't take the shit seriously. What people say they respond to, and what they actually do are often in conflict and contradictory anyway. So I choose to not make any apologies for wanting to get any better with dating, (though still respecting boundaries and personal choices), and neither should you!