Monday, July 21, 2014
The Power Of CHOICE!
Is a curious thing. Nevermind me quoting an old Huey Lewis song haha. But in actuality, one of the most imporant ideas within the ideas of dating and seduction is the power of choice. Choice really is often the difference between desperation and a happy relationship founded on the right ideas and attitudes. In discussing choice, let's define it first. I believe "choice" to be three or more choices. In fact I will paraphrase the dating coach Eric Von Sydow "If you only have one choice you're a robot". Also, the word "slave" would be appropiate. So how does this concept manifest itself in dating? I'm sure the readers of this blog all know someone who had settled for someone in a relationship they shouldn't have, if not they committed this act themselves. They settle for someone who doesn't really fulfill them, and bad relationships, divorces, and other heinous things result that need not to have happened in the first place. Its kind of the same concept that I will discuss in a future blog post about christians who want to remain "pure virgins" until married. If you were to buy a car, how would you know its any good if you don't take it for a test run? The same goes for relationships and dating, and I've seen a lot of people make the mistake of getting into a relationship with whoever comes along. This is probably one of the SINGLE BIGGEST MISTAKES IN THE ENTIRE REALM OF DATING! It is WRONG WRONG WRONG to make this mistake. Its not that you can't get "lucky" the first attempt, but usually it takes a few attempts at meeting people and seeing how you interact before you should pursue a relationship with them, but, far too often, people will settle with the first person they have sex with. I'm not suggested sleeping around with a bunch of people, as the "PUA's" may say, neccesarily, but use some discretion. Another part of this equation is the guy/girl who won't put any effort into changing themselves to attract WHAT THEY REALLY WANT. It could be losing weight, wearing makeup, or even simply putting themselves in situations where they're around more people who would be their type. Someone comes out of the blue and they end up with them BECAUSE THEY'RE THERE. Settling for second best (second best as to oneself) out of personal fear is one of the worst things one can do in dating. I've seen it happen time and time again to people, though I also know some inspiring stories of people who have been married to people years and years because they had the balls to go after what they really wanted. Sometimes one has to date a lot of people also to know what they want, and as controversial as it sounds, that may include sleeping with them. I know for a fact that the people that I know in the best relationships, especially guys, were ones that they seemed to earn after a long time struggling with failures, flakes, and dating numerous types. This perception may seem strange to a guy that lacks experience, because he builds up the girl that has even a little bit of interest in him. To him, this is the ultimate faux pas because "someone finally likes him". This is desperation and will only lead to a relationship's inevitable end. So what is choice? What does it look like and how is it handled? I'll give you an example of choice in my life of dating. Right now, as we speak, I have five emails from five different women from online dating. This blog post isn't about the numbers game that I will talk about in further posts, but about the fact that choice is the ideal way things should be. I have the choice to talk to them again, one or two might reject me but I may meet one or two of them as well. I can decide which ones I want to get to know more, ones that I don't think have long term potential, etc. More recently, a girl chose me, but I had liked her for awhile. It doesn't contradict what I say, because I felt truly attracted to her, but things didn't work out because I didn't feel like she was someone who had long term potential, but at the same time some circumstances were happening that I had to stop seeing her casually. In real life, if one has one phone number from one girl, it kind of makes things way more stressful. Choice actually gives us more confidence because we aren't afraid to try diffrent things and see how they go. Choice gives us more of a chance to meet someone who not only fulfills us, but that we can fulfill. And this is a point that is missed by holding the inner belief that one should settle for whoever comes along.