Monday, July 21, 2014
Its a NUMBERS game!
So the prior post kind of delved into this subject a little bit, but this post will be a little bit different as I think this concept is a bit different. Another thing I want to state, is the intention of this blog isn't to be another blog in the "Seduction community" (look it up) as I will readily admit I've studied a lot of their ideas (and attraction in general) for a few years now. I also have read more "mainstream" dating advice. This blog as stated in the very first post, is supposed to be neither, but to fill a void that I see inherent in online dating advice in general and I am trying to go somewhere in between the two. For example, a "pickup artist blog" may say "go screw ten women" if one has a breakup, but a mainstream yahoo article may say "give yourself time to heal". I'd say, give yourself time to heal, but maybe try to date some people to make sure you're still getting yourself out there and giving yourself a chance to get over it by seeing that there are different people and plenty of fish in the sea! So as you can see, I am hoping this blog will be different that either side of this "dichotomy". Back to the subject: if I had never been rejected as many times as I have, I would have never had half the dating life I have had. I'll repeat that another way: If one gets "rejected" its usually a matter that they're on the right track. The more rejected you get, the more closer to success you are. Its common sense, one can compare it to sending resumes for job interviews or something like that but that is missing the point. Consider that you're honing your skills by meeting more women and getting rejected. You're building up resistance to various things that happen and (hopefully) changing your behavior to be more attractive. As time goes on, you get better and better. Its said often that the best hitters in baseball also get the most strikes. I'm no sports nut, but in reading the statstics about baseball, it seems to support this idea. So its a numbers game. The more women you approach, the more rejected you'll get, the more emails you send with online dating, its all the same. Its a numbers game, most of the guys who aren't really successful really never try or they display the behavior that I discussed in the previous posts. They resst on their laurels and settle for second best (second best to them personally, as each of us has a definition of what's best for us). But many guys also have this irrational paranoia about rejection- its almost like they believe in this secret communication between all women, that if they're rejected by one, they've been rejected by them all. Sometimes with breaks in dating, my mind also may go to this bad habit every once in awhile, as it was one that I had when I was less sucessful. Its like I'm reverting back to old habits. But as I start to get in a flow again, I easily dispel these myths within myself. Its basically, as a dating coach once said, one woman one vote. A person may have preferences, and ideas about what they like, and they may be really similar to the other person as far as a lot of things, but throw one or two things off as far as what their preferences are and they may be completely different. For example, a guy may hit on a girl because she's wearing a shirt of his favorite sports team, has blonde hair, and looks a certain way. She may totally reject him, but then he sees the exact same archetype, and gets the opposite response. I've seen this happen numerous times, and its happened to me as well. We don't know the motivations of why someone "rejects" us or why someone accepts us into their lives. But all we can do is risk taking the shot; if we miss, we shoot again and again and again and again until we get the ball in the basket!